Shower tower of power!
Plastic plastic plastic. I’m going to write a long and ranty blog just in case you want to go into the in’s and outs of why it’s an absolutely heinous product - poison for our bodies and pollutant of this earth, but in case you know - which you likely do - I’m going to hip-hop-skip-a-step and jump right to the fact that it SUCKS and we want to kick it the F out of our lives. I halp!
So, one of my (many) dirty little secrets is I quite like products. I almost believe that all of them will make my life better / face smoother / hair glossier / legs longer and bum firmer. So I have a few. Now, there are some I won’t give up - today at least - and then there are the 17 bottles of quasi-abandoned products that didn’t quite deliver - but maybe they will… later. Maybe.
Yep, I have a wild stack of plastic promises littering my bathroom. And it is GROSS. Even if you are disciplined and buy the same tube-o-gunk every month, that’s still a shit tone of waste, charging into our landfills, into our precious earth, and our children futures - every damn month.
shameful stack of plastic promises
Not having’ it.
So, on behalf of us all, I waded right on into the world of “unpackaged”, and attempted to replace my shower tower with clean, lean bars. Yup. Unpackaged, promise-less, naked-smooth-girl-inspiration-less, celebrity void bars of cleanliness.
I suds, I scrubbed, I selfied in the shower. I messed with brands, I phoned a friend, and judged like a true New Yorker. Here are my verdicts.
Have at em.
All better!
Okay, fast answers:
WINNER:
My favorite product, for Shampoo and Conditioner, turned out to be this brand:
These guys knocked it out of the park with every product I tried. They aren’t cheap, so make sure your boyfriend knows that this is NOT his new bodywash soap, and you want to store them somewhere they are not going to be sitting in water or stored under the direct stream of the shower. This goes with all soap bars to be honest.
Ethique just launched their US warehouse, making it easier to buy direct from the source, but they also are available on Amazon should you prefer to fill up a basket there.
(side note, shop smile.amazon.com - which is exactly the same as the regular - but Amazon donates to a charity of your choice with every purchase you make. My charity is "Beagle Freedom Project" and just by people shopping amazon smile, BFP has so far raised $88,171.88! Easy and MAJOR!)
What I loved:
The range for hair types - they EVEN have a purple bar for brassy blondes! Dry, Oily, Frizzy, Fine, and Baby - they have everyone covered.
The textures of the different bars. Me like texture.
The ridiculous yumminess of the super long-lasting conditioner bars and how it washed out easily - many don’t!
The bars are square, which sounds odd, but it sits ‘just right’ in your hand, AND you don’t get this odd thin bit in the middle at the end that snaps your bar into two lame slithers like the rectangular bars do.
Top Tip: Order two shampoos to every conditioner bar.
What I will repeat buy:
This one: Volume and Bounce Shampoo Bar
and this one: WonderBar Natural Conditioner
and this one: The Guardian Conditioner for damaged hair
and for you smokin’ hot blondes: Purple Shampoo for Blondes
(Conflicting conditioners I know, but hair can be moody.)
SECOND UP:
Second up is this company:
I will admit, I am a sucker for branding and reeeeeally like theirs. Also, if you are a website nerd, it’s a real pleasure to shop on their site. They actually make it alarmingly satisfying to add to cart, and very easy and oddly fun to shop. The price point is the same, but getting the soap dish included is a win.
What I loved:
The site. It’s just fab.
The very cool soap dish you get free with your order, which you can then opt-out of the next time, so you don’t end up wasting. Brilliant. “The shower dish is absorbent, quick-drying, and bacteria + mold-resistant — made from diatomite, a sedimentary rock formed by fossilized phytoplankton.” Cool. It looks cool, feels cool, and I sort of wanted to bite it. Works brilliantly.
The branding. I warned you. I’m a sucker.
Top Tip: Buy once even if just for the soap dishes - useful for life. Also, really enjoy their website and adding to cart. It’s a moment.
What I bought:
https://byhumankind.com/products/shampoo
https://byhumankind.com/products/conditioner
Things to note in general about switching to Bar-Life.
It’s different. Chill. You will get used to it really fast so don’t get twisted in your first shower bar experience. Rubbing a little block onto your head feels just odd to begin with, and why wouldn’t it, if you are not a soap user, this is something you have never done. But it normalizes quickly, and I find it pretty satisfying now.
It does take a teeeeny bit longer than the quick squirt of a shampoo tube or bottle. Just a minute, so you can handle it, but allow time - don’t do this for the first time when you are already late.
If you are a “two shampoo and a conditioner that sits for 2 mins” type of hair care person like me, add 5 mins to your shower routine. Again, chill. You are saving the planet hun, so worth it!
As mentioned before, don’t leave it in a soggy soap dish that collects water, or store it under a direct stream of the shower, as your bougie new soap will disappear way too fast.
That’s about it, folks! Shampoo, condition, and conquer!
Hair looks just fine to me! :)