Did you just lick your teeth at me?
Yes. Yes I did.
So, where am I going with this?
Well, in a minty fresh, pearly white direction, my friend!
That’s right. We’re talking about dental hygiene - which is a lot sexier than you might think.
Your everyday toothpaste is a rather criminal offender. Aside from the fact that most big-name brands are so full of disgusting chemicals it doesn’t even bear thinking about (although you really should); the simple tube itself is part of a very sad story.
Those little plastic tubes of toothpaste that we have all become accustomed to were once a pretty radical invention. At the time, they greatly lowered the cost of toothpaste, making it widely accessible to the masses. Yay for fresh breath!
However, the small size, the blended materials used in the tubes, and the leftover toothpaste inside make recycling these guys basically impossible. The tubes can be recycled if they are made of only one material (like pure aluminum) but the truth is, most tubes are a (hyper toxic) mix of different plastic-based materials, and most curbside recycling programs do not accept them.
An ordinary minute
The pile up of ditched toothpaste at just one airport security checkpoint, at the end of a day.
Every year, it is estimated that 400 million toothpaste tubes are discarded in the United States alone. On the global level, the number raises up to 1.5 billion tubes.
Now, that is actually a modest number that takes children out of the equation, and is based on the assumption that less than 50% of the US population brush their teeth twice a day, if at all. Ew.
If every person over 18 in the US brushed their teeth twice a day, that figure would be around 627 million.
The plastic used is not biodegradable - plastic generally isn’t - and it can take anywhere from 500 to 700 years to break down. So, you chuck out one little tube o’ paste, and it will outlive your children’s, children’s, children’s, (“children’s” another 16 times) children. And that’s just for the 500-year model.
So gross it hurts
THANKFULLY, there is a lot you can do about it!
Yes, impassioned brainiacs all over the world have been innovating to make a radical difference. Giving ME the pleasure of just having to grin and brush it, and give YOU an easy review.
I’m going to get straight to my fave, but let me just say, I’m pretty picky about what goes into my mouth. (Behave). I really have been rooting for many of the products that are bursting onto the scene and wanted wholeheartedly to love them. But I just haven’t, for so many reasons.
Fact of the matter, I like things minty. I don’t want grapefruit or ginger when I’m grooming my gums, chewing a crumbly mint and then rubbing it around with a toothbrush is never going to cut it, and if my breath isn’t arctic fresh and bringing tears to my own eyes, then it quite simply isn’t going to pass. I tried. I really tried. I’m sorry Bits, I’m sorry Human Kind, I apologize random pots of charcoal (no idea how THAT became a thing), but all of you left me wanting more, and when it comes to matters of the mouth, that can’t be a good thing.
WINNER
This one, and this one only:
‘Ello ‘Arry, you minty bugger.
My reigning champion.
So, I like it to really feel it. I exhausted a whole bunch of products, and at first wrote this one off too, as it’s a strange flavor and almighty strong - but after being let down by brand after brand, the crumbs and powders, I revisited this half-finished tub, and realized it knocks that ‘deep clean minty fresh’ satisfaction out of the park.
If you have tried other products and not felt fresh enough after, trust me, this is the one.
This one, link here.
What I loved:
It really gets in there, perfectly gritty but not gross, it really leaves your teeth feeling downright glossy.
Holy hella fresh much. You have to give this a few tries before you get used to the taste, it’s not bad at all, it’s just different, but lordy does it leave you minty fresh. If you like Altoids (or Trebor Mints for my Brits), this is for you.
Dunkin’ my toothbrush into a tub of powder. I totally dig that actually. You sort of master your “perfect dip”, and who doesn’t need these small wins twice a day.
Oh, that perfectly, completely recyclable glass jar at the end. Yup. Empty, rinsed, fully recyclable/reusable, being the perfect “snack pack” size jar. Bye ziplock!
If you aren’t into the powder:
They do a paste too! I love it just as much, it’s super minty and just as fun, but it’s kinda khaki-colored, so not cute when you spit. But hey, that’s what rinsing is for!
The Paste!
Top Tips:
Go with the peppermint and order in bulk.
Maybe order one for each member of the fam, as sharing a tub (especially the paste) might ick you out…
Others in review:
I can’t say I have a runner up because I don’t. It would be:
Davids Natural toothpaste, in it’s “fully recyclable”, all-metal tube. But here’s the reality, in order for it to be recycled, you have to cut it open and wash it out. Jup, the US recycling plants don’t accept anything that’s dirty or spoiled with content. And I know no-one is going to do this. If your family won’t adjust to a tub of powder or paste, and you can commit to the cut open and scrub, then, by all means, go for it, but let’s be honest with ourselves here…
It’s a little bit bitty, but worth a shot. I really really like this company, I really do, I like their concept, their ads, their branding, and their service. I like the little tubs full of bits (bites?) and how wonderfully compact and easy that is for travel. Love it. It’s the practical bit where things start to crumble (ba-dum-chhh), bad joke, sorry. So you pop a “bit” in your mouth, and sort of bite it so it crumbles, then go on in there with a toothbrush and work it all around. Thing is, I like symmetry, and I could never quite get past the biting side feeling favored. I tried a “bit” in each cheek, but that felt daft, I tried biting half and pushing the crumbs over. All a bit ridiculous really, I swear I am not that person. Endpoint, however, foamy, but not all that minty. It was a mild cleanse. BUT! I will tell you when this is the perfect product. When you are going out to meet friends and want to brush your teeth but are also greatly anticipating that first glass of wine and you don’t want to ruin it. Yep. For that ‘“quick refresh” pre-dinner/drinks, these cheek bits are perfect.
There is more to our dental hygiene journey, and I have an ultimate game-changer I CAN NOT WAIT to throw at you - that gets a whole video - but for now, I’ll leave you here, with my pearly white, planet loving ambitions!